FLASH: Way OT.

[Paul Kilgour]

Thought you all might enjoy this. OT I know, but funny nontheless.


Paul.


Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the

new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software,

severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that

operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  No mention of this phenomenon was

included in the product brochure.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as

DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new,

undesirable programs such as

SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.  Conversation 8.0

no longer runs,

and invariably crashes the system.  Can you help, please!!


Sincerely,

Mrs Smith


Dear Madam:


This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to

a primary misconception.  Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband

1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package.

However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator

to run as few applications as possible. Error messages are common, and

a normal part of Husband 1.0. In desperation to play some of their "old

time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women

have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women

end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.


Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice

that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I

recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange

and illogical system.


Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the

entire

section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs].  This is a wonderful

feature of Husband 1.0, installed by the parent company as an integral part

of the operating system.  Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL

faults and problems,  regardless of root cause.  To

activate this great feature enter the command "C:I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".

Sometimes Tears 6.2 must

be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then

run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.


TECH TIP!

Avoid excessive use of the above feature.  Overuse can create additional and

more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C: I APOLOGIZE

command before the system will return to normal operations.


 Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot

learn new applications quickly.


Consider buying additional software to improve performance.  I personally

recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction,

these utilities can really help keep

Husband 1.0 running smoothly.


After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will

find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings2.1, Snuggling

4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.


A final word of caution!  Do NOT, under any circumstances, install

MotherInLaw 1.0.  This is not a supported application, and will cause

selective shutdown of the operating system.  Husband 1.0 will run only

Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.


I hope these notes have helped.  Thank you for choosing to install Husband

1.0.


We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!


Tech Support




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