Re: UKNM: Commercial internet research companies - tangent

[Tim Ireland]

From: Michael Wilcox <

m [dot] wilcoxbigfoot [dot] com

>

 > Apologies if this has been asked before (I've only recently joined).

 >

 > Could anyone recommend a company that can carry out some research for a new

 > internet business idea.

 >

 > We need quantitative and qualitative figures for potential and future market

 > size for traffic flows and an analysis of how popular the idea might be with

 > the general public and with intermediary client companies.

 >

 > Anyone else been through this process?

 >

 > Thoughts gladly received,

 > Michael


hehehe - just saw this in alt.humor.best-of-usenet


Tim Ireland

Senior Copywriter, Designercity (www.designercity.com)

http://www.buymybook.co.uk/


******************

Step 1:


Find somebody you trust to work with you as your partner. Your

wife is a good choice, although in a pinch your pet hamster will

suffice.


Step 2:


Create a dot.com company. Building a company with strong technical

underpinnings and lead by a passionate and visionary leader is best.

However, you can also cycle through e-<word>.com, choosing <word>'s from

the dictionary until you find one which isn't used. Whatever.

If you find all the names are used, try the dictionary of a foreign

language.


Step 3:


Go public! Issue 1,000,000,000 shares of stock. Keep 999,999,999 shares

for yourself, and sell the other share.


Step 4:


Have your partner buy that share for $100.


Step 5:


Party!!!!! You now have a $100 billion market cap. Make sure you give

interviews to Time, WSJ, and so forth. (If you don't understand why you

have a $100 billion market cap, please close your AOL account and go back

to your day job; this system isn't for you.)


Step 6:


Buy the company of your choice, using your $100 billion in stock.

(Note: avoid companies created using this system.)


Step 7:


Retire. You've worked hard, and you deserve it.


******************



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